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Educationally Yoked?

I posted this question earlier today on my facebook page and it made for interesting discussion but I'm curious to know what Blackfolk think:

Over the last few days, I keep running across these articles that suggest that women with higher ed degrees basically 'belong' with men with degrees. One of them went so far as to say that a woman with a degree would be "bored" with a man without some higher learning. How important is being equally educated? Is making a big deal out of it (or a conscious decision to make it a dating/marriage requirement) a cultural thing?

Posted via m.livejournal.com.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 4th, 2013 06:54 pm (UTC)
I think they are equating education with intelligence and I don't think they are the same.

I think that people want to be intellectually engaged with a partner.

That's how I am, my SO and I have different educational levels, I have a B.S. and he has a GED but he can spar intellectually with me and I don't find myself bored with him.

I have however dated guys who couldn't keep up, who weren't socially engaged and when I 'd talk about politics or social issues, he'd have no idea what I was talking about and I was bored.
Apr. 4th, 2013 09:58 pm (UTC)
I think they are equating education with intelligence and I don't think they are the same.

this. my wife has an MA and I'm still working on my BA, but she constantly tells me and others that I am smarter and better informed than she is. I know plenty of people with more education than I have who are completely lacking in intellectual curiosity, and socio-political and foundational knowledge; I find that much more of a dealbreaker than lacking an post-secondary degree.
Apr. 6th, 2013 05:48 am (UTC)
yep. i am in a relationship now but if i weren't, i could definitely date someone with less education than me but who was still intellectually voracious, loved learning new things, and whom i had great conversations with. now, since all i have right now is a BA, if i were trying to stay with this hypothetical person long-term we would have to have conversations about our finances and all that (though obviously there are some folks w/o a college degree who make more than me).

also, not every person with a degree will be well-versed in the subjects that matter to you. i refuse to date anyone who hasn't graduated from privilege and intersectionality 202 (and really, that might be generous), so there are maaaaany college educated men i would never try to be with long-term. my SO loves science and i do not have his deep content knowledge in that area, but i think he appreciates that i am genuinely interested and ask questions and know enough basics to be able to understand with some help. likewise he does not have any artistic practice like i do, but he is curious about my work and my processes, and that really matters.
Apr. 8th, 2013 04:09 am (UTC)
I'd take a life long learner with no degrees, who educates himself out of curiosity and desire, to an educated fool any day.

I'm finishing my master's degree. My definition of a "good man" does not include a degree requirement. Being intelligent, engaged and well read is definitely not the same as being "educated."
Apr. 4th, 2013 07:24 pm (UTC)
For me, it's not a deal breaker but it is important. If my partner in a profession where you can't advance because of their lack of higher learning & would not want to pursue higher learning that could cause an issue. I would want someone with some higher learning just so they could understand my experiences and be a resource/role model for out children when they are going into higher education. I don't think making it a requirement is a cultural thing it just seems like in marriage culture people with degrees marry people with degrees because they tend to be in the same social circles
Apr. 6th, 2013 09:46 pm (UTC)
I completely agree.
Apr. 5th, 2013 12:26 am (UTC)
I agree that education is a valid factor, but equivalent degree levels shouldn't be a mandate for someone's dating pool. I find the levels of self-motivation, passion, and ambition to accomplish something (anything really) in a potential mate to be a far better indicator of compatibility than other the person having the same level of education or higher.

Interestingly several articles are out there which show a radically different preference for a man's ideal mate's level of education compared to his own.
Apr. 5th, 2013 03:16 am (UTC)
Was this even written by someone with a degree? Way to simplify the issue! Personally I'd be bored stiff with half the guys I've met that have a degree on my level. Socio-political conversations over dinner? No thanks! ZZZzzzZzzZZZz The conversation I can understand is not the same as the conversation I WANT to have with someone, and even if it was, doesn't mean I would be better matched with that person.
Apr. 5th, 2013 12:40 pm (UTC)
This. I want someone to be able to carry interesting conversations, and a college degree does not guarantee interesting.
Apr. 5th, 2013 10:46 pm (UTC)
I'll have to agree with y'all. Some of the most intelligent people I've met have been those without degrees or titles. That said, I'm not talking about any old random on the street who believes he has knowledge (see: Illuminati references).
Apr. 6th, 2013 07:03 pm (UTC)
I understand what the article is getting at. However equally meaning Masters Degree can't be with an Associates? A doctrate can't get with a certificate from a trade school?

There are many different variables. I prefer my men to be intelligent period. Now if they got that way because of college, great. If they are just naturally curious about the world and keep themselves informed that's even better. There are men who have degrees coming out of their ears and are boring as hell because they lack IMAGINATION.

I could be with someone who was a high school dropout but a magnificent (working) artist. It's all interconnected in some way. I am a creative person and I tend to gravitate to creative men. But that doesn't mean I couldn't fall madly in love with an accountant as long as we had things in common and shared similar values and views of the world.

I just hate mentally lazy people in general.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )